How to Say “Thank You” to Your Pastor


Do you know your pastor’s “appreciation language”? If you don’t, then you may not know how to best express your appreciation in a way which communicates your thanks to him/her.

I’ve been a pastor’s wife for 20+ years and have friends who are pastors’ wives, so I’d like to share from an inside view.

There is probably no one more uncertain about whether or not he is doing a good job than a pastor – except for politicians who often lean on state or national polls for affirmation. (The only time a poll is taken on a pastor’s performance is when a contingency in the congregation wants to relieve him from his post and needs a 2/3 vote to do it.)

Whether you are in a small or large church, your pastor needs your expressions of appreciation. No matter how big or small the church staff, being a pastor is not an easy job.* (see my earlier posts)

In Hebrews 13:17, church members are instructed to make the work of leaders (pastors and elders) a joy.  Here are some ways to say “thanks” and to stimulate joy in your pastor’s service to the body.

  • WORDS

Spoken: The easiest way to express appreciation is with words. It really encourages my husband when our folks let him know that a particular sermon, training session, mentoring time, study group, his handling of a situation, etc., has impacted their thinking and their choice to follow Christ more fully – that his toil has been meaningful to their lives.

Be specific. Let your pastor know which part of his efforts have most affected you. If it’s sermon content, say so. If it’s his personal interest or concern, let him know. If it’s his character, such as compassion or integrity, say so. If his/her lifestyle speaks to you of Jesus, say so.

Written: Think about putting your appreciation in writing. We have been in ministry for the entire 34 years of our marriage. When we were itinerant speakers/singers there were many accolades spoken or written to us on a regular basis, not so in the pastorate. When we receive “thank you” notes or letters that speak appreciation, we are very encouraged by them. We keep them in a file as reminders that there are people who have been positively affected by our ministry.

  • DEEDS

There is an old saying that “actions speak louder than words”. It could be that your pastor’s appreciation language is “acts of service”.

A couple months ago someone ran over our mailbox; we woke up one Sunday morning to find the box smashed flat with the post bent almost to the ground, and tire marks across the grass. We went to our church service, then to another event to which we were committed that afternoon and evening. When we arrived home later that night, we discovered a brand new mailbox and post (cemented in) at the end of our driveway. A couple in our church took it upon themselves to do this kind deed.

There have been people who have worked on our cars, repaired our lawn tractor, plowed our garden, cleaned our house, and taken us out for a meal.

Other good deeds you might consider: babysitting while your pastor and spouse have a night out alone, caring for their pets, watering their plants or picking up their mail while they are on vacation, calling to see if they have any personal prayer needs.

Just as encouraging to us are those times when folks have stepped forward to do deeds for the church body, such as cleaning the church building, mowing the lawn, volunteering in the nursery, or helping someone in the fellowship who has a temporal need – anything that says “we get it”.

  • GIFTS

When you are giving gifts to express your appreciation, spend a little time and thought on what your pastor may enjoy. Is he/she a sports fan, an avid reader, a collector of some particular thing; does he have a hobby or special interest?

You might consider tickets to a concert or sporting event (if your pastor is into sports). Once we were given a gift of two nights at a lovely bed and breakfast. We felt so special.

Last October we received a card with money in it from several church members, with the instruction it was not to pay a bill – we had a nice dinner out.

In other years, our Lifegroups (small home groups) have presented gifts on particular Sundays during the month of October, such as beautiful potted plants, wall hangings, gift cards, a gas gift card, etc. (Caution: when giving a decorative gift, consider lifestyle and personal tastes of your pastor and spouse. If they have been in the pastorate for a long time, they may not need something else that needs periodic dusting.)

For female pastors or the pastor’s wife, think “feminine”: a visit to a salon, a pedicure or manicure, a gift certificate to a clothing store or specialty shop like Bath & Body Works, fresh flowers, a lunch with you, etc.

Last but not least by any means: Whether male or female, your pastor’s overall health is essential and foundational to a vibrant life and ministry. Be certain to consider a sabbatical policy for your church. Ask your pastor if he/she prefers print books or owns a Kindle or Nook. Purchase BOTH A Sabbatical Primer for Pastors (CLICK on title) and A Sabbatical Primer for Churches (due in May 2014) at Amazon.com. Give the Pastor’s primer to your pastor(s) and the Church primer to someone in leadership who cares about the pastor or pastoral family and wants to love and honor them.

These are some practical tips for saying “thank you” to your pastor(s). In my next installment, I will share a few other items that don’t cost time or money, but are important in showing heart-felt appreciation for your pastor.

Are there things you have done to say “thank you” to your pastor that you would like to share? Or, if you are a pastor or the spouse of a pastor, how has your church or individual parishioners shown appreciation for your ministry to them?

©2012, Marcy Alves

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About Marcy

I love my Father-God. Together we are walking through a season of my life where I am standing with him against cancer. He is my strength and trust. As one of his daughters, my passion is to share his love with others in practical, everyday illustrations and insights.

Posted on October 4, 2012, in My Journey, Pastoral ministry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Outstanding Marcy! I’m sure this will be a very useful post to those who love the leaders God has placed in their lives.

    P.S. I LOVE your blog! I’m trying to spread the word.

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