Self-Concept: Who’s Your Daddy?


Pedro Martinez at some point in his pitching career made the statement that the NY Yankees were his “daddy”.  In the third game of the 2004 World Series the NY fans reminded him of that statement. Pedro was pitching for the Red Socks against the Yankees in Yankee Stadium.  As he was pitching, in the third or fourth inning, the New York crowd began to chant, “Who’s your daddy?” Pedro appeared to become flustered and walked three straight batters. The coach brought in another pitcher.

It’s an interesting question that the crowd asked: “Who’s your daddy?”

When I was a child growing up in what was then a small town, Franconia, Virginia, I could not go anywhere that there was not someone who would comment, “We know who your daddy is.”

I knew who my daddy was and so did everybody else; if ever a daughter looked like her father, I did.

And I wanted to please my daddy. I needed his approval and worked hard to get it . . . good grades, clean house, yard and garden work – those things won his approval. I’m sure he would have loved me even without my hard work to please him – but verbal approval was what I thrived on.

It’s been said that fathers, more than mothers, affect their child’s self-image, and to a large degree I believe that to be true. Even an absentee daddy affects his children by his very absence.

Someone once said: “No person can consistently behave in a way that’s inconsistent with the way he perceives himself.”

You can’t see yourself as “brave” and be living in fear.

You can’t see yourself as “unacceptable” or “factory reject” and be confident of yourself or your performance, friendships or relationships.

If you view yourself as a failure, you won’t become a success.

Our self-concept is not necessarily obvious to us. Our parental heritage and other influences can affect us in ways and on levels that our rational mind often does not comprehend. We live as much out of the subconscious as we do the conscious mind.

Not only is our personal self-concept affected by our “daddy”, but the way we view our earthly father greatly affects our concept of God.  We tend to see God somewhat in the image of our dad, until we get to know Him better.

When I became a Christian as a young teenager I initially saw God as someone I could please by hard work and self-sufficiency, like my daddy. Because we were financially “poor” by American standards, I also saw my heavenly Father as someone who would supply the basics – food, clothing and shelter -but not the extras. If I wanted extras, I had to earn money and buy them for myself.

I don’t think I saw God as stingy – because my biological dad was generous with what he had. But because my daddy had a limited income as a railroad worker, a phrase I often heard was, “You don’t really need that.” So, in my head I heard (and sometimes still hear) my heavenly Father say, “You don’t really need that” before I even asked Him.

As I said, I knew that God would provide the basics, but I thought that anything beyond that I would have to do for myself or do without.

As I have continued to walk in the Lord and develop spiritual maturity, my view of God has changed. And along with that, my view of myself and of others has also changed.

The more I am able to view myself as a child of God and the better I get to know what my heavenly Father is like – from pictures of Him in Scripture and in my spirit as the Holy Spirit reveals God to me – the more I learn of His love and how to trust that love, the better my self-concept has become; the more confidence I have in Him and in myself.  Wow! I am a loved child of an awesome Father.

John 1:10-13 says: . . . to all who received him [Jesus], to all who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God; who were born, not of blood [not from human bloodlines] nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”

The spiritual genes I received from my re-birth experience have been slowly and steadily over-riding the imperfections and weaknesses of self-concept resulting from my birth family genes and experiences.

2 Cor.5:17 If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, all things are made new. (KJV)

God is the One who can change us from the inside out. I don’t have to be handicapped for the rest of my life from familial mental, emotional, and spiritual inheritance. I have a new inheritance through Christ, who made me one of God’s loved children.

I am now a child of God. He is my “Daddy”.

So, who’s your daddy? Knowing that can change your life.

©2011, Marcy Alves

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About Marcy

I love my Father-God. Together we are walking through a season of my life where I am standing with him against cancer. He is my strength and trust. As one of his daughters, my passion is to share his love with others in practical, everyday illustrations and insights.

Posted on June 20, 2013, in Christian Growth, Follow Me, God Encounters, My Journey, Reflections and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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